No me dejas

It's hard to be the last man standing, but I did do it to myself. Now that my roommates are gone, my BFF's Ngoc and Ally on their way to more international adventures, and most of the other Bollullos auxiliars are on their way out if not gone already, I feel that my authentic (albeit solita) Spanish experience is really just beginning. Perhaps, at the end of the day, this is what I actually expected when I first came here... and then wound up with two American roommates, and lots of chances to speak English. Kind of wish the house was one level though, and had a few less rooms. I'm not sure If I'm living alone, or will be a live in maid for the rest of the time I'm here. The place requires constant maintenance that's easier to do in threes.

Initially, when I got my ticket, I'd wanted to stay a little longer in Spain because I figured I'd have a lot of traveling that I wouldn't have done during the year and still wanted to do al final. Well, duh-harrr, and of course, as expected, there're still tons of places on my list to see. To be honest, most of the places I've gone thus far weren't even on my original list, from Cordoba, to Ireland, and Portugal. I'm glad I went of course, especially Cordoba, which after three visits, has become one of my favorite cities. Still, there's a lot I haven't seen of the world, although people who've seen less might call me a world traveler. Seems like the more you do, the more humble you become about your own experience and capabilities.

I was just thinking the other day how I've spoken with people who said they wish their English was as good as my Spanish. Ha! Meanwhile, comparing myself to people who fluently speak two or more languages, I feel like I am not. Ok, so maybe I'm not on the bottom of the fluency scale, but I feel far from being mistaken for a native speaker, which is always my goal. A little lofty perhaps, especially considering I started learning when I was 18 and this has been my longest, although not the first, stay in a Spanish speaking country. Nonetheless, I appreciate the compliment from people who strive for bilingualism, if it is one... that they would like to speak as well as I do in a non-native language. Which brings me to something I'll supremely miss about Spain, compliments.

From "que guapa vienes" to "joder!" to "que bien hablas," I will miss the frequency with which Spain and its countrymen have boosted my confidence at random and unexpected intervals. I don't know what I'm gonna do when people actually walk by in a rush to get wherever they have to go and don't stop to stare; or when I go to work with people who are straight hating... Thanks, Espana, for the constant pick-me-ups and for showing me the world is not completely full of hateration. Probably helps that I've spent most of the year working with older women who are more likely to treat me as the exotic daughter they never had than to walk by without giving a compliment. I will miss it all, and I'll be soaking it up, for what it's worth, in my remaining weeks here. 'Preciate it. Keep it comin'.