sábado, 20 de junio de 2009

Me pongo triste

The packing is always when it hits me.
When the last person walks out the door, when I turn in the keys, when I start telling people the date I'll no longer be in town, those are all guaranteed signs that I'm leaving. But what really gets me to break down is taking the pictures off the walls, figuring out what clothes I want to wear in the last three or four days so they can go on top and not on the bottom of the maleta, writing farewell cards, and looking at my empty room and remembering all the memories that a place holds for me.

I jumped on my sheet-less, blanket-less bed because I'll never sleep there again. I spent hours in the living room writing cards to friends and co-workers I may never see again, and thought of how they've shaped my experience here. I am constantly flabbergasted by the number of people I have to say goodbye to. Between, school, church, tutoring, and hanging out in the streets, I've gotten to know faces and people. Many of them are just conocidos who wish me well in the future wherever I end up, but some are much more than that, and I have to do my best to tell them so.

In my last weeks here, I've realized that a ton of people don't like saying goodbye, and sometimes I don't either. I've also realized, I'm not always so good at saying how I feel about people, or what they've meant to me. I can write it down beautifully, pero me ponga nerviosa decirlo en voz alta. I don't know why. Maybe it's because it would sound so cheesy, even though it's genuinely how I feel. Like when I say "Ana de mi alma", "ojos del encanto", or "te echare de menos..." I'm being serious. Coming up with a list of the reasons why though is when it gets difficult to keep talking out loud. Luckily I can write, and my writing in Spanish, I've been told, is almost flawless. I still laugh when I hear that, but I do relish the compliment.

Anyhow, while I get sad, I hope Espana and all the people I've met here, will stya strong in my absence. Try not to miss me too much. Os echare de menos, pero volvere;)

1 comentario:

Unknown dijo...

Te quiero mucho. Besos...