Let the Rain Fall Down

For better or for worse, Bollullero youth have been exposed to very little diversity, and that which they have seen, many have learned to reject and furthermore disrespect. So when a 6th grader today laughed about reading the part of the black boy in the dialogue, I was a little surprised at myself for still getting caught off guard and being upset by the fact that he'd said it. Needless to say, kind of like the random wake-up call I got a few days ago, I jumped on him as soon as he finished reading. Last time this happened, I waited two weeks to confront the situation, by which time the students had a prepared response, the likes of which included, we are all equal... and Look, Obama's president of the USA!! He is, indeed. Thank goodness. But that doesn't make up for sixth grade ignorance, transmitted from parents undoubtedly, but transmitted nonetheless.

I told the class I didn't ever want to hear anyone say they didn't want to read the part of the black kid, or refer to "that" kid as some kind of a joke. My emotions might have stayed purely at anger if my co-teacher hadn't chimed in so that I could hear her voice starting to waiver. I kept thinking, why is SHE crying? But somehow, the tears rolling down her face made me feel like she was really defending me, and not just telling the kids to stop talking nonsense. When I asked her at the end of class why she was crying, she said it was because she'd put herself in my shoes. I thought maybe her dad was black or soemthing.... I mean. Anyhow. It was an emotional third period, after which I descended to the patio for recreo and subsequently fought off the memory of students saying shitty things. It was one of those rare moments when students get to see hoe teachers actually feel though. So I definitely don't regret that it went down, if anything, I'm thinking how much more progress would we have made if instead of pretending to be blind to our differences we had addressed them asi al principio...?

Al fin, some tears fell, I walked out on my class, my teacher cried, I made some more students cry, I played hopscotch with third graders, and wondered if they'd ever know this game is/was super popular with me and MY peers when I was their age in a different part of the world. In spite of everything, I keep wondering if I'm doing enough to show who I am. I am what you see, but what about all the history of an entire RACE that I carry with me just by the fact of being one of few representations of blackness in this itty-bitty world in a far corner of Spain? It kind of feels like an overwhelming task to undertake, just to get started thinking about where to start. Still, I'm brainstorming ways to sum up the history of black people in the US (or the world) from Christopher Columbus to Barack Obama. And I'm taking suggestions...